JESUSLAND: PLOT OUTLINE (TENTATIVE)

By Christopher Zoukis

Opening Image:  Jesus is introduced.  He’s back because he decides to take another vacation. 

Theme Stated:  Satan’s constant opposition to everything Jesus does is introduced on page 3.

Set-Up:  Jesus and Heather eat at the Flying J, where Jesus’ disenchantment with religion is exposed.

Catalyst:  Arriving in Butte, Montana, Jesus delivers the garlic he is hauling in his Peterbilt to a grocery store owned and operated by a religious group known as Springers (followers of the deceased Curtis Howe Springer of Zyzzx fame).  Springers are Merovingians.  Heather is a Springer.   Image courtesy en.wikipedia.org

Debate:  The Springers identify Jesus as a preacher just waiting to happen.  The Springers attempt to persuade Jesus to become a radio/TV evangelist for Springerism. 

Break in Two:  Jesus does not want to get “involved in the preaching thing again.”  But he does.  The Springer Church becomes The Last Chance Church of the Last Days.

B Story:  the relationship between Jesus and Heather takes off. 

Fun and Games:  Jesus/Henry becomes superstar TV evangelist.  The Last Chance Church goes international, surpassing every other religion in adherents.

Midpoint:  Satan is pissed.  He believes Jesus/Henry is trying to pull a fast one:  a premature Second Advent, along with the Millennium, where Jesus gets to rule the world.  Satan marshals an opposition religion.

Bad Guys Close In:  Satan manipulates the media, setting Jesus/Henry and his church up for a fall.  Satan ‘proves’ Jesus is the Anti-Christ.  Heather dumps Jesus via a text message.

All Is Lost:  religious tribunal finds Jesus guilty of heresy.  He is banished to Florida.

Dark Night of the Soul:  Jesus in Florida, living in a double-wide mobile home – hurricane bait.  Jesus appeals to his mother, the Virgin Mary, who has a word with the Big Guy (God), who looks, talks, and acts like a Jewish Hollywood movie mogul.  The Big Guy decides to produce the biggest “moolah maker of all time.  It’ll make James Cameron’s Avatar (in 3-D) look like a Smurfs movie.”

Finale:  The Second Advent is produced.  The Big Guy entitles it The Power and the Glory.  The Big Guy gets Oliver Stone to direct the historic event.  Satan is banished to Bakersfield, California (hell on earth).  Jesus is the new Pope, ruler of the world. 

Final Image:  Jesus is back!  He is now worldwide.  Yet even though he’s Pope of the world – the big cheese – not everyone is on board.  Some people just don’t believe anything.  Barreling down the road in a Kenworth pulling a trailer that reads (in big-ass impressive upmarket stylized letters) The Jesus Loves Me Traveling Salvation Show.  His mission is to convert the unconverted.  

Please note:  this is a bare-bones, provisional outline of a work in progress.